No Joke!

When I heard Whoopi Goldberg on The View say that Menopause is no joke it really hit me, hard. The transitioning that takes place in this phase of life is not only no joke, it's transforming at the deepest level. Everything that your life has been up until this point needs to be re-worked. The dreams that have been set aside your whole life for one (very valid) reason or another must be re-visited with conviction, realizing that this IS your someday.

You spend your life nurturing and taking care of other people and their needs/wants/dreams and suddenly you realize that there's much more being left behind in Menopause than your ability to bear children. I won't ever get to fall in love for the first time again. What an amazing time that was. I'll never hold my baby in those first moments after giving birth and feel the wonder and magic of our eyes meeting for the first time. No more first days of school or conferences. No more concerts or feeling the emotions that come from listening to more than one hundred elementary school children singing "I Believe I Can Fly" as the butterflies they've grown and nurtured from eggs are set free and wondering in that moment how their little lives will play out. No more school supply lists or projects or shouting, "Great job!" from the side lines of whatever sport is being played this season. Holding hands at the doctor or dentist's office and trying to come up with reassuring words when you know that shot is only seconds away. Driving lessons in parking lots, then waiting nervously in a seat at the DMV's office as they head out with an instructor for their road test. Will it be a thumbs up or a thumbs down? A pass or fail? Elation or tears? Proms, graduations, college applications, they're all a thing of the past, of my past. These are only a few of the countless times being left behind.

Then there's the goodbyes. The goodbyes that begin with a trickle, then pick up speed at this stage of life. The goodbyes that come in various forms whether from children moving out, life long friends re-locating, people you have loved who must exit due to divorce, or the death of someone close to your heart. So many goodbyes to endure.

No joke indeed.

There's much pain and sadness that accompanies these years. And because of that you realize there must be a conscious decision to make peace, acceptance and joy what fuels your existence now. There must be a conscious effort to take the same strength and passion that's been behind all you've done and given to this point whether to your partner, your children or other family members, your job, your home, your friends, your pets, whatever it's been you must now give it to yourself and any dream you may have for your future because this IS your future. You understand that the profound sense of loss for what once was must be balanced out with gratitude for what is.

You've heard that saying, "Happiness is a choice"? It always has been but it is especially so in this phase of life. It's okay to mourn the past. You've given much of yourself to the days and years and experiences that have led you here. Acknowledge it, mourn it if need be but now is the time for healing. Now is the time to close the wounds that need closing and embrace what's yet to be with enthusiasm and joy.

Now is the time for freedom.

Now is your time to fly...

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly.

XO,
Carrie