Motherhood

Sitting in a quiet house on this rainy Mother's Day morning has me thinking about motherhood and all the lessons it's taught me.

Before I ever met my babies I felt a sense of protectiveness. You have no idea once they arrive how fierce that feeling will become or the lengths that you will go to in order to protect them but you learn very quickly the meaning of the term, "Don't mess with Mama Bear!" That feeling is such a powerful one that as they grow you begin to understand the lesson of restraint and how difficult it can be to balance those two.

Being a mom has taught me the importance of balance. The lesson of selflessness and putting your child's needs before your own must also be balanced with being selfish and knowing when you need "me time." Balance is key when you give so much.

When my kids were younger I learned lots of fun stuff like what it feels like to catch your child's throw-up in your cupped hands in an attempt to save the bedding, or how salty kisses are from a booger covered mouth, or where to draw the line when it comes to washing or throwing away poop filled clothing!

As they continue to grow you learn how to spot a lie or manipulation in the blink of an eye. You learn  to be a great detective and understand now how your own mother had eyes in the back of her head! Motherhood builds your intuition skills to epic proportions. And as they grow older still, you learn that sometimes we push that intuition away because frankly, sometimes it's just easier to not know, but it never goes away.

Being a mom has taught me how intense emotions can be when your heart is directly connected to another human being's. The pure joy that comes when they are happy, the pride that comes when you witness their achievements and growth. The all-consuming anger when you feel they are making harmful choices for themselves and when you are beginning to understand the importance of letting go but you're not quite ready to. The sadness and pain that takes your heart hostage when you know they are hurting and there's nothing you can do. Some lessons of motherhood you desperately wish you never had to learn.

I've learned the importance of being humble and honest and real with your kids, even when it feels very uncomfortable to do so. And that two little words, "I'm sorry", hold more healing power than a thousand explanations ever could.

So many lessons but for me, none more important than this - loving, accepting and supporting your kids in being who they truly are is much more important than my desires for who they become. And when you see them as beautiful, caring, loving adults you realize that's all you ever really wanted for them anyway.

And now that my kids are in various stages of adulthood I've learned that all of the times I thought they weren't paying attention, they were. And all of the times I thought my love wasn't enough, it was. And everything I've attempted to give and teach despite how difficult it felt at the time was worth the effort because what I've gotten in return is what sustains me in this life.

To my boys - thank you. I love you with all my heart.

Happy Mother's Day!

XO,
Carrie