What's Different Today?

A friend of mine asked me this question last night. I told her I would probably have to put pen to paper and sit with it for a few moments before I could answer. I did, and here's that answer...

Things change day to day in our lives. We never know what we'll be waking up to or bringing to bed with us on any given day. The lines on my face and the girth of my belly seem to be growing, as do my children and grandchildren. The air is crisp and cool and lovely this morning but the forecast calls for much more humid air tomorrow. The pain in my lower back and hip isn't so bad today but after a planned workout this morning, that could be different. The emotional trauma that was my every day for years exists no longer, except for when on occasion, something finds it hidden in that deep place where I don't think our trauma ever truly leaves. Six years ago, I had a mom. Five years ago, I didn't. So far, our country has managed to avoid getting involved in another world war, but I fear that it's coming. The circumstances of war may be different but war itself never is. It's always the same awful death and world changing destruction that history books are full of. Really, everything's different from day to day, moment to moment. What tomorrow will bring? No idea, but something different.

There is that saying though, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I still have the same husband, thirty two years now. I have the same job, twenty plus years now. The love I hold in my heart for my children and the extension of that love for my grandchildren will never change, ever. That will never be different, even when I'm gone from this earth. The rust colored carpet and yellow cabinets that were in my house when my parents lived here still reside in my kitchen, so I've got that going for me in the same department! Honestly, some days feel so "the same" that it's downright depressing. I suppose it's all in the perception. I'm grateful for the stability the sameness in my life provides. I'm beyond grateful for the friends who have remained a constant for so many years. I love climbing into the same ugly, comfy, gray pajamas that have lived in my pj's drawer for longer than I can remember. A lot of my unfulfilled desires remain the same, like the one to play guitar and bring more music into my world.

So, my dear friend, what's different today? Everything...and nothing. And that's okay.

xo,
Carrie