Women

It's about 5:30 a.m. on Sunday morning. I've been away on retreat since Friday afternoon with a group of fourteen other women and as always, I'm blown away by the loving, trusting, compassionate energy that gets passed around during these weekends. I've learned not to come with an agenda, and to simply be open to whatever may come. Let me just say, I am always humbled, and oh so grateful for what does.

I've been doing this retreat for so many years that I honestly can't remember when it began. I know my connection with the wonderful woman who "runs" it began twenty plus years ago. I say "runs" it because I've learned over the years that while you can attempt an agenda here, the weekend always takes on a life of it's own. I think the running is really more of a gentle nudging on her part, and it always gets us to where we need to go.

One of the things that I find fascinating, and beautiful about being part of a circle of women is that in that circle, you will more likely than not, be given the opportunity to see yourself at various stages of your life. While the individual stories will vary, the struggles, the joys, the pain, the triumphs, the emotions, and the ultimate growth that comes, is very much the same. For me, it's the most powerful gift that comes from our connection to other women. The reminder of where you've been, the validation of how far you've come, and the hope held in the future's possibilities.

One thing that's pretty clear to me is that we women suffer. Much of that suffering is done in silence, but there's no denying the pain and suffering that comes from having a woman's tender heart. It's not my intent to say that men don't deal with their share of suffering, I know this to be so. It's been my experience however, that men and women are wired differently and tend to process life in very different ways, from very different perspectives.

It seems to be a general theme for women that somehow, somewhere in our lives, we feel we are not doing a good enough job. If we feel we excel in one area, we usually feel we're failing in another. No matter what our accomplishments, there's an underlying sense that our efforts are not enough. That we should be achieving more! There seems to always be an area in our lives where we feel we are simply not good enough. Well thank you very much Gloria Steinem! I'm not negating the importance of all the positive change that came from the Women's Liberation Movement, but in my opinion, those changes did not come without some huge costs to women as well. One of those costs being exactly what I speak of here. Women now have the opportunity to do it all...WOOHOO! Well I have a newsflash for you, NOONE can do it all. And when you're made to feel like you should be, there will always be an area in which you feel less than, or inadequate.

So let's get back to basics here for a moment. Let's put our worth back into perspective, shall we? We women are the nurturers of the world. In this small group of fifteen women we have a marriage and family therapist, a few nurses, a medical professional, a customer care professional, a parent educator, a couple of women in early childhood education, an assistant to a lawyer whose focus is end of life planning and minorities rights, a teacher, a child care provider, a couple of massage therapists and a self-made business owner whose hard work sustains her household. HELLO!!! We are wives nurturing husbands, mothers nurturing children, children nurturing parents, Aunties nurturing nieces and nephews, grandmothers nurturing grandchildren, friends nurturing friends and women nurturing a variety of pets. We are the nurturers of the damn world I tell you! So you tell me how, in any capacity, is that not good enough?

I think the fact that we women are always striving to be a better version of ourselves is beyond admirable and very telling of the true spirit of a woman. The striving can be a wonderful thing, as long as while we're doing so, we're able to maintain a sense of peace about who we already are, and all that we already give. We DO enough. We GIVE enough. We ARE enough.

It can take days, weeks and in some cases, months to feel the full effects of a weekend like this. It takes time to understand what you've taken with you and honestly, I don't know that we ever fully understand what we've contributed to it. This much I know...when you're in need, when you're depleted, when you feel like a failure or inadequate or less than in some way, look into the heart of another woman, because it's there where you will always find your own, beautiful reflection.

xo,
Carrie