Don't Ask

My aunt passed away a week ago today. My oldest sister and I were with her while one of my other sisters went home to change and get an overnight bag as she planned to stay the night with her. Her passing was so quick and so peaceful and I want to write about it but I honestly have not processed it yet so I think I'll hold off on that. What I do want to share is something I've learned through the passing of my mother and my aunt, something that I myself have been guilty of many times and vow never to do again.

When someone shares the news of a loved one's passing with you, don't ask how old they were. Or if the person was up in age, please don't make a statement somewhere along the lines of, "Oh, well they lived a full life". I understand fully that there is a very different grieving process involved when a loved one is lost at a young age or in a tragic way but the point here is that when YOU are the person who has just lost a loved one, at that moment their chronological age is completely irrelevant. Someone you loved very much is gone and can never be replaced and an emptiness is left behind whether they're eight or eighty eight years old. A simple, "I'm so sorry.", or a "What can I do?", or a heartfelt hug is enough.

Age doesn't matter when you've said goodbye to someone who's been an integral part of your family. Age doesn't matter when you've said goodbye to someone who's loved you unconditionally for your entire life. Age doesn't matter when your heart is broken from the loss of a loved one, so please... don't ask.

xo,
Carrie