Her Love

My aunt in Florida did pass away this week and it has me thinking alot about Mom and what we went through when she left us. It occurred to me that I don't think I've shared what I wrote for her funeral so I'll do that now -

I have memories of my mom, although as I age they seem to become fewer and fewer. I can't remember her holding me as a baby or playing with me as a toddler. I can't remember all the lullabies though I know they were sung, or many of the bedtime stories that were a nightly ritual, but I remember her love.

I do remember the smell of bacon frying coming from the kitchen and fresh squeezed orange juice on a Sunday morning. I can hardly remember my school days but I do remember running home from elementary school one morning in tears simply because I missed her. When I arrived home her response was, "Did that mean girl throw a snowball at you?" and when I told her I simply missed her she gave me a big hug and let me stay home from school that day. I remember her love.

I know in my heart that our connection will live way beyond our time on this earth, I just wish I knew how. Maybe she'll be the wind and I'll be the cattails on the shore bending in her breeze. Or maybe she'll be the ocean and I'll be the sand and we'll be locked in a constant embrace. Perhaps I'll be the animal in need of shelter and she'll be the Oak tree offering up her shade. She was always good at being my shelter.

I know we will find eachother again but in the meantime, who will love me as she did? Who will be able to put my thoughts into words when I can't seem to find the right ones? Who will know my heart before I even speak it? Who will feel my pain as strongly as I do or cry my tears as if they were her own?

I've been cradled in her love since the moment I was conceived. There is no love like a mother's love. There is no love like MY mother's love. I may not remember every detail of my life with her but I do remember her love...and always will. -

I think it's important to mention that after I read this and was heading back to my seat in the church, I stopped off to give my dad a hug and he looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm going to try.". God, I love that man.

xo,
Carrie