Friendships

I'm sure some of you have seen that email that gets sent around periodically about friends and how some friendships come into our lives for a short time while some come in for a lifetime, etc.. Whenever I see that it reminds me to be thankful for all of the wonderful friendships I have been blessed with in my life.

I have a friend who I've had for many years. We were pretty much inseparable all through our 20's and most of our 30's. We talked every day, some days we talked several times. We saw each other almost as often. Our kids considered eachother cousins and referred to each of us as "Auntie". I think during those years each of us barely made a move without consulting the other first. We shared so much that it would be a futile effort on my part to attempt to reiterate the events of those years but it would suffice to say that we were as close as two people could be.

At age 36 I found out that I was pregnant with my youngest child. My older boys were 12 and 14 at the time so it was a bit of a shock to learn of the pregnancy. When I told my friend the news, she cried. It's not that she wasn't happy for me, I think in that moment she may have known that our lives, which up until that point had remained pretty in sync, were now going to shift in very different directions. She was right.

Not long after I gave birth, my friend decided to finally honor the strong pull she had been feeling for some time to move somewhere warmer. Somewhere her spirit felt more alive. While I felt deep sadness at the notion of life without her close by, I also admired her courage to do what she felt was needed at this point in her life. If it's one thing my friend has always had, it's courage. I love that about her.

We now see eachother about once or twice a year and talk on the phone maybe once a month. Something neither of us could have imagined all those years ago, but it's okay. Life has brought us to exactly where we're meant to be, and the love we feel in our hearts for eachother will never change. That unconditional love is the legacy of our friendship and I know our connection will live forever.

Our story makes me think of my mom and a close friendship in her life. When I was young, my parents were very connected to her friend and her friend's husband. Our families did all sorts of things together. We vacationed together often and were always at eachother's houses. We called them Auntie and Uncle as did their daughter to my parents. Uncle even worked at the business my father owned. It was obvious how much my mother and Auntie loved each other.

Time went on, we kids grew older and as life usually has it, things changed. Auntie and Uncle ended up getting divorced and my parents remained friendly with Auntie. Eventually Auntie and Uncle got back together and Uncle felt betrayed by my parent's loyalty to Auntie during their time apart. It became apparent that Auntie would have to choose between Uncle and my mom and I'm sure you can guess who won.

My mom and Auntie didn't speak again for several years until Uncle passed away. When my parents went to pay their respects to Auntie and her daughter at Uncle's wake, all it took was one hug for the tears to flow, the lost years to fade away and the friendship to be rekindled. The joy my mom felt at having Auntie back in her life was evident. It was like she was complete again. Unfortunately the re-connection was too short lived, as within about two years or so Auntie was diagnosed with a brain tumor and six weeks later she was gone. Auntie died on October 22nd, 2007, Mom died on October 22nd, 2009.

Never question why a friendship has come into your life or why it goes. Regardless of if it comes for a short time, a lifetime or into eternity as Mom and Auntie's did, they all come for a reason. We need to embrace them, cherish them and give thanks for the blessing of our friendships.

xo,
Carrie