Retreat

I've been going on a retreat once a year now with a group of women for fifteen plus years and what I've found is that these weekends always have a way of giving you exactly what you need, regardless of what you go there thinking you will get. Let me clarify, what you need and what you want are not usually the same thing.  I left for retreat believing I would get lots of rest and come back feeling refreshed. Well, I'm home and so "refreshed" that I had to go to bed at 8:00 last night and I stayed there until 6:30 this morning.  I left here Friday feeling very light hearted and excited about the weekend and by 7:30 that evening the sadness had found me, and didn't leave.

The beauty of these weekends is that whatever comes up for you, you are surrounded by loving, caring, tender, supportive women who don't try to fix or change what the weekend presents. We're all there to validate and honor eachother's stories and by doing that, at least for me, regardless of what happens while I'm there I leave knowing without a doubt, it's all going to be okay. As my dear friend, mentor and facilitator of these weekends says, "You need to trust the process". I do and that's how I can know that despite how I come home feeling, that I've gotten exactly what I needed.

Here's a little glimpse into my retreats -

RETREAT

There's laughter coming from the kitchen again
It's great to be back in this place among friends
I hear joyful singing coming up through the floor
Her sweet sounding voice comforts my heart for sure

I open my shades and it reveals a familiar view
The ocean's still here staring back at me, PHEW!
It's good to know that despite heartbreaking loss and change
There are always things we can count on to remain the same

Like once again, not an ounce of room in the fridge
If you need space on a shelf you'd better place your bid
And thank GOD the homemade toffee found it's way
Step aside! Comin' through! It will be gone by the end of the day.

There's still excited anticipation of the sun's rise in this place
When the burden of nighttime's darkness disappears without a trace
So I wake early to make coffee and prepare for the show
Knowing there's but a small window of time to catch early morning's glow

The wonder of not knowing what circle time will bring
Still has the power to keep me hopeful and anxious to begin
New faces always offer a mirrored glimpse back in time
To when the curiosity I see in their faces was mine

Someone's beautiful vision of artwork on the walls
Now covered in white leaves me questioning that call
I much prefer the story the painting on these walls used to tell
How sad when creativity's stomped on to promote the big sell

At least the great room's windows still stand from ceiling to floor
Allowing our spirits to be called to what's beyond these doors
It shows nature at it's finest and it's luring me to flee
And beauty still resides in that lone white wicker chair beneath the tree

Of course tears flow in abundance when I least desire them to
At the time they seem like a nuisance but I owe them my gratitude
They've come to cleanse the grief I thought I'd tucked away
So I'll welcome their arrival knowing they're not coming to stay

Year after year old friendships are renewed and new ones born
Some much loved faces missing leaves me feeling a bit torn
Yet I know every single circle ever created in this spot
Regardless of how long ago is forever formed in my heart

I never leave this sacred retreat the same as when I arrive
I take comfort and trust that this place will tend to what I leave behind
With guidance from my angels I always find what I'm meant to here
The joy, the pain, the wisdom of friends, I'll savor it all until I return next year

xo,
Carrie