Cycles

Having the teenage years thrust upon us again after having lived them twice already has me thinking about the cyclical nature of life. The seasons, and how we feel at the beginning of a new one should be a really good reminder to us of the cycles of life. It's hard to remember when we're going through difficult times that they won't remain, but we should. I guess that's why when everything feels right and we're experiencing what we perceive as real happiness we should bask in the glory of it, because it too, is part of the cycle. The ever changing cycle of life.

Something I wrote as I was going through the teenage cycle with my older sons will serve as a reminder to me as I walk through them with my youngest -

THIS WALK

Little one woke me up three times again last night
No apparent reason, he blames it on his fright
Assures me that he's going to be a grown up soon
Hasn't yet learned how to find comfort in the light of the moon

Husband's sleeping soundly as I watch the clock
Waiting with these stomach pains to hear a knock
Teenager forgot to call to say he won't be home
It's always at this hour that I feel most alone

Feeling rather stressed today they say it's PMS
I was thinking sleep deprived, all in my head I guess
Way too much to do today to give into my thoughts
They say best to be a rolling stone so as not to gather moss

Promised myself today's the day I'll go back on a diet
That new one all the stars are doing, I'm definitely going to try it
I know if I could just lose weight I'd halt this desire to scream
So sure my happiness lies within this pair of tight blue jeans

And I get up every morning to continue on this walk
Wonder if this is how Jesus felt before they nailed him to the cross
Sometimes it seems so hopeless yet I hold onto my faith
Maybe if I just believe, my world could be a brighter place

There's been another accident, this one the worst by far
Flipped the truck on the highway, walked away with just a scar
First born's angels have been working overtime, three strikes and still no out
Guess fate's decided to give him a chance to stay and learn what life's about

Teenage'rs school is on the phone, looks like our options have ended
Damn it! I thought this would all go away as long as I pretended
That's okay, the mall's having a sale, think I'll shop my blues away
What's one more credit card bill when you owe them your life anyway?

Mailman's running late today, not sure what I'm waiting for
Perhaps a million dollar sweepstakes check or just sign of life outside this door
Amazing a house filled with so much noise can have such an empty feel
That's okay, learned long ago how to fill emptiness with another meal

Another bombing in the news today, my prayers don't seem to be working
This newsman knows how to find that place where all my fears are lurking
I'm shutting this damn TV off, don't want to hear about all things wrong
Think I'll open a window to hear the bird and breathe to the rythym of his song

But I get up every morning and continue on this walk
This faith thing must be working, not feeling quite so distraught
The wheels seem to keep turning and life keeps moving on
Maybe if I just believe in myself, I can turn my world around

Little one's laying asleep tonight, teenager's home in his bed
Been more than a year with no accidents, angels are getting a rest
Jeans are fitting more comfortably now, can wear them without turning blue
And you know, they neglected to tell me, that moss has a beautiful green hue

No millions in my mailbox yet, just as valuable, a note from a friend
Despite what the media would have me believe, no happiness in the latest trend
The full moon still keeps rising to comfort all of our pains
And I'm learning to hear the song of the bird, especially when it rains

I've also found that emptiness can be where divine secrets are kept
Once you've found light in the darkness, there's nothing you can't accept
Husband and I are still in love despite all our ups and downs
I have faith that it will stay that way as life's cycles go round and round

So with a smile upon my face I'll put one foot in front of the other
Keeping focused on the joy that comes from walking this walk with eachother
Think I'm going to live my life staying present in the moment
Being careful to view my challenges as teachers instead of opponents

Yes, I'll get up every morning and be thankful for this walk
Amazing how much the heart can learn when the mind listens instead of talks
As long as these feet of mine can move I'll go forward one step at a time
Being grateful for every breath I take in this precious life of mine

xo,
Carrie