Signs

Signs, signs, everywhere the signs...

Dear Mom,

Good morning, it's me Carrie! Not sure if you recognize me with the brown hair. I know, how could you not recognize your baby girl, right? I miss you calling me that. It's a term of endearment that only you spoke and I miss it. Don't worry, Dad's still calling me his "Little tweety pie" and that makes me happy.

So how are things going with you? I'll bet you've met some interesting souls. It's comforting to know that you're still watching out for us and I'm grateful to you for all of the signs you've sent that you're okay and happy, beginning with the amazing sky you painted for us only moments after you left. It was a spectacular show and I'm sure can't hold a candle to the beauty that you're witnessing.

It was clever of you to get my friends downtown on the evening of your passing, and even more clever to get them to walk around so they could stumble upon your name MIDGE engraved in the sidewalk. We all know that Midge is not a very common name and it's pretty clear that was your doing!

The upside down rainbows you sent on the Sunday after your passing couldn't have been more beautiful. The perfect smile, filled with color. I'll never think of a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow again. I'll think of you and your beautiful smile.

Your presence in my friend's dream was beyond clever! You purposely chose someone who had never met you so I would pay attention, didn't you? How could I not, when the clues you left were spot on Mom? You responding with "M" when she asked you your name and your comment, "What about the pearls? I've always loved the pearls." made me chuckle. Did you think I'd forget you wanted me to have your pearls? I have them, and I love them. Your hair was dark in her dream, as it was in real life before you made the bold move to go blonde. A move you referenced in the dream by saying, "I've always wanted to go lighter". You were gorgeous either way! And pointing out your black, cat eye shaped glasses to her was the clincher. When I showed her a picture of you wearing those glasses, she knew beyond a doubt, as I did, you had come. I'm SO grateful that she had heard of your passing and took the time to call and ask if this dream was meant for me. Was it ever!

Oh, and just incase there was any doubt that this dream was meant for me, knocking the Angel of Dreams off the shelf at CVS while another friend was standing there to see was a nice touch. Luckily I had told her of the dream and your plan was successful! She purchased it for me and it sits next to your picture and a candle on my kitchen table. You are determined and I love it! Thank you.

The Falcon sitting atop my swing set was very cool too, though I haven't figured out if there's a deeper message involved in that one yet.

And now that it's been over two months, and I thought perhaps the signs would stop, you continue to let me know you're with me. I can't tell you how much it touched me when I was talking to you last night while driving to Dad's house and I became emotional while asking you to send me a sign if you could hear me, that you were able to get the radio DJ at that exact moment to play the song I love! The one that has the line in it , "I love you (baby girl), I love you, I love you, I love you. How could I doubt it was you when I got into the car to come home and as soon as the car started, there was the exact same song playing, at that exact same spot, "I love you, (baby girl), I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love you too Mom and miss you more than you know. I'm keeping my eyes, ears and heart wide open to any other signs you may be sending my way and I'll write again soon.

Big hugs and kisses to you.

xo,
Carrie