Tomorrow

Dear Mom,

I'm writing to ask for your help with something. Tomorrow your girls are going over to help Dad pack up all of your things. I've found it comforting to poke around in your closet while visiting Dad. Putting on a pair of your slippers while we watch a movie together or wearing one of your sweaters to stay warm has felt good. Almost like you're still here with us. It will be hard to say goodbye to your things as it's another phase of saying goodbye to you. While I've found it comforting, I know it must be difficult for Dad to have to face your things day in and day out. A constant reminder to him that you're gone. I know that when you left, a big part of him went with you but I think you'd be proud of the manner in which he's carrying on. I know I am.

He's a trooper Mom, but then noone knows that better than you. He's been to the movie theater with me twice now. He expressed that he hadn't been to a movie in many, many years and now he's been to two in one month! I plan to get him back to another one soon. He hasn't burnt down the kitchen yet and is doing a good job of keeping himself fed, with a little help from us kids now and then. He's getting more adventurous in his food shopping. Last night he informed me that he'd tried a lowfat frozen lasagna dinner and that despite adding massive amounts of salt, it was still the most disgusting thing he'd ever eaten AND he was out $4.50! I'm making chicken tonight and will make sure he gets some leftovers. Oh...and get this! When I got into his car, the music was blasting and he had on the country station! I know you're shaking your head at that one. Hey, at least it wasn't right wing, conservative talk radio. I know how much you enjoyed listening to that.

We all miss you very much. I think every single one of your kids has experienced the same surreal moment in which we think, "Gee, I haven't talked to Mom lately, I need to call her", only to remember that's not possible. I know I haven't stopped talking to you and I'm confident neither have my siblings.

I'm anticipating that tomorrow will be tough, so I'm asking if you could please be with us, and when the time comes to sort through all of your belongings, please help us to recall happy memories as we come face to face with all of the things that you wore so beautifully. Let us find comfort in the very things that comforted you. Help us to know what would make your heart happy when finding a new home for the things that made it happy when you were here. Most especially please guide us with your love so that we can all work together and walk through this process as unified and understanding of eachother's feelings as we were your last week here on earth.

You and Dad taught us well Mom, and I know we'll get through this aspect of our goodbye, but if you could wrap us especially tight in your spirit tomorrow, it would be appreciated.

Thank you, I love you and I'll write again soon.

xo,
Carrie