Friends

I got a call last night from a friend who's just been slapped in the face by life...hard. You know, one of those slaps that catches you completely off guard and leaves you feeling shell shocked, dumbfounded or any of those other words that describe the "What the hell just happened?" feeling. I'm sure you're familiar with it because it happens to all of us from time to time. I got in my car and headed over to her house. We drank tea (well, I drank tea, she was in need of something stronger!) and talked. Her tears flowed, we hugged and talked some more. By the time I left I could see she was a bit lighter than when I arrived.

These are the times that we realize how vital friendships are in our lives. How many times have you been faced with something that in hindsight you know you couldn't have gotten through without your friends?

A few of those times come to mind for me. The first being when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son. I was twenty one years old and ill prepared for this news. My husband (then boyfriend) and I had been dating off and on for about five years and had a bit of a tumultuous relationship. We hadn't really yet entertained the idea of living together let alone having a child together. It was the love and support of friends and family that helped us to both realize that this was a blessing, not a curse. And what a blessing indeed! I can't begin to tell you the light that this child has been in our lives. I tear up as I think about how much I love him.

Another time that comes to mind is when I found out my middle son was shooting heroin. This is a child who had been known to literally run out of the doctor's office when it came time to get a shot. "He'd announce, "Nope! I'm not doing it", and off he'd go. He once had a fish hook stuck in his finger and we were at the walk in medical facility for three hours because he refused to let them inject him with novicaine. They finally had to have a nurse stand there and continually spray his finger with a topical numbing solution as the doctor removed the hook. This same boy was willingly taking a needle filled with heroin and injecting it into his arm. That was the moment when I realized the depth of his addiction. That was quite a slap indeed.

And of course, most recently the slap came in the form of my sister calling from the hospital at 3:00 a.m. and hearing her say, "There's been a complication with Mom's surgery. I think you should come". You know the rest of the story.

Sometimes it comes in the form of a hug, or a phone call to "check in". Sometimes it's in the form of food (my friends cooked three quarters of the food for my Moms post funeral gathering at my house), or a shared cup of tea,or glass of wine. Sometimes it's in the form of a thoughtful note or greeting card or maybe a shared tear,or several. Sometimes it comes in the form of a prayer. It comes in all different forms but it is without a doubt the love and support of our friends that helps us to get through those times that we just can't bear to face alone.

xo,
Carrie