Mom

It's scary sometimes how our minds can play tricks on us. I saw a woman when I was shopping earlier who from behind looked exactly like my mother and for a split second I wanted to run to her. I could actually feel my body begin to lunge in her direction. Of course when she turned around it wasn't my mother, nor did she look anything like her, but from behind...

I wanted to hug her with all of my might. I wanted to tell her of all the change coming down the pike in my life. I wanted to hear the excitement in her voice and watch her eyes light up as I told her I was going to be a grandmother. I wanted to feel her arms wrapped around me and her hand wiping my tears away as I buried my head in her shoulder and told her how much I've missed her. I wanted to buy her some Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Needless to say it was a very tearful drive home from the grocery store. They say that time makes grief more tolerable and I'd have to agree with that. It doesn't visit me as often and I'm starting to be able to recall joyful moments with joy instead of sadness but on the days when it hurts, it still hurts so much.

xo,
Carrie